Updates, Eye Candy and the Pucker Factor

Lately, I've run across a few things I think need to be added to some of my previous blogs... a follow up as it were, because one can never have too many WTF moments Right? 




Now I'm not sure if this belongs in the "How many Links" blog or the most recent "Explain to me Why" one so I'll let you decide. 

Puckerooms... I can't even say that word without a dirty snicker and inappropriate images flashing it's innuendo-laden trench coat through my mind.  Now add Sour and Gummie to the mix and it all slides downhill into Laughyourassoff-ville.  Wonka, you twisted son's a bitches, what made you think this was not only going to be OK to display in the candy isle but be something to sell to children? Can you imagine hearing a kid yell at the top of their lungs as the little heathens usually do  say "Mommy! I want Sour Puckerooms Gummies, can I get em' huh? The Cherry puckeroom is my favorite!"  Of course all the child is looking at is a blob of chewy, sour candy but as an adult (and one such as myself who is a tad off as it is, ahem) would you want watch your kid pop those fungus-esk candies in their mouths knowing they are going to enjoy, albeit innocently, a product with Pucker in the name? Hell, if they were taught any manners whatsoever, they are going to share that with other kids... "Here, want some Sour Puckerooms? You should try the anatomically- suggestive shaped ones!"   


And Why in the shape of a mushroom for fuck sake?  Was it the gummy worms that influenced this next generation of Gummy-Candy-should-not-take-the-form-of... I don't know but I have a bad feeling about the next great idea they come up with.  I think we know what kind of 'Shrooms' those candy developers were eating while thinking this shit up; and I bet they weren't grape flavored!

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This next update definitely goes in the "Only in the Pacific Northwest" blog... and I can't tell you how horrifying this is to me.  

Sluggles Gummies.  Are you Fucking kidding me?! Candy in the shape of a SLUG?! 


Gummy. Slug. Candy.


Oh wait, there's also Snail shapes, yeah that makes it so much more acceptable.


In my blog I explain my violent aversion of these creatures ... in great length in fact.  I was so fascinated with the bag of Puckerooms I didn't notice the bag next to it right away.  When I stopped snickering at the picture I took of the puckers I noticed it's neighboring candy friend... and at first it didn't sink in.  I mean no one would really make a candy slug, it just wasn't done... maybe I read the bag wrong.  No, no I did not read it wrong and the pictures below the name supported the fact that those 'shroomed out fuckleheads had gone to a candy darkness I didn't think possible. 


 Has it come to this Wonka? Have you lost your mind so badly that Sluggles and Sour Puckrooms are the best you can come up with as a product marketed towards children? Really?  You went from the hugely popular gummy Bear and other cute shapes only to end up with Fungi and Gastropods; maybe the next gummy form should be Tree with Sour Moss... it's only logical since  slugs and mushrooms are big fans!  OMG I'm so grossed out right now, UGH.




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Moving on to a more interesting (and less gummy, well maybe) blog addition:  


It's time for "When Ferry Danish goes Eggshit!"  


In the blog "What's the Point?"
I shared my experiences of my daily commute to work and back on the Washington State Ferry system.  The Ferry worker's job consists of directing traffic on and off the boat using a method I like to call... Pointing.  It doesn't look to be a very stressful occupation besides dealing with people who don't pay attention to their pointing and the crappy weather they have to endure ... but recently there was an Incident with one of the Ferry workers that has me rethinking their actual stress level.  Here's the actual article  but basically it's about this guy who drives too fast on Vashon Island (our only other stop on the Southworth/Fauntleroy ferry run) and some guy records him speeding on his cell phone.  Angry-driver gets pissed that someone dare call him on his Alleged asshole behavior so, while waiting in line for the ferry, he smears his Danish on the guys car window and tries to get him to step out of the car.  The guy making the video is being cool and doesn't participate... just takes more footage!  So while getting on the ferry one day the guy who took the video sees the angry driver and realizes it's a Ferry worker aaaaaaand shares his experiences AND video with King 5 news!  LOL, busted!  Angry Ass is on leave but he did apologize to his smear victim who is  not pressing charges, which would be for....  assault with a Pastry?  Along with his apology Angry Ferry's wife set the record straight by admitting that the assault weapon wasn't a Danish... it was an Egg Salad Sandwich;  Whew, 'cause we all  know how dangerous breakfast foods can be!


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And finally ~ I'd like to add one more cape to my "Sweet Cape Vibes" blog and it's a good one!


We went to see the new movie THOR and he was rocking a Pimpin' cape! OK the armor was impressive too but check out the shoulders on this cape, that's some heavy duty starch job!

No, that's not a hammer in my pocket Batman.
(you'd get this if you read the blog!)

Did I say one more cape?  I meant two... because I think I found Thor's ancestor; Spartathor! I believe this was before the invention of starch.. or the Iron... or, Pants.

Did I say one more?  Ok, OK, One more but this is the last one; there's just some things you can't top! Personally I think Wonka should consider this spectacular specimen their next gummy candy shape; it would certainly be some interesting ... Eye Candy!

Oh yeah, I make this look Good!