Personal Enhancement, Cialis and a Reason.. kinda

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A friend of mine suggested I Google "Vajazzling" which, of course I did, because when Anna waggles her eyebrows suggesting something scandalous and smutty who am I to resist?  According to Urban Dictionary the reason this practice is done is "To give the female genitals a sparkly makeover with crystals so as to enhance their appearance."  Or, as I like to think of it, a way to give your vajaja a reason to get all red and bumpy from shaving (or worse, waxing) then seriously pissed at having bling hot glued to it's already aggrieved, uhhh, Lady Garden! 

'Suggestive' for the not so subtle

There's all kinds of designs and phrases you can vajazzle, some are cute, some sexually suggestive and some that are pretty intricate; look it up, I know you want to.

 My question is once those crystals start to fall off, to only God knows where, and there is regrowth in the Garden does that still enhance your appearance or do you just look like something the cat dragged in? 

An extremely irritated pussy with low self esteem and possible performance issues now that the bling has faded. 

No, not this (at least I hope not).

Of course, not to be outdone, the men have their own line of strategically placed sparkly jewels glued onto their  bits and pieces called, (and we're going downtown to obvious-ville here),  Pejazzling.  Makes for quite a mental visual doesn't it...

Yes, now Here's a visual!

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And while we are pondering personal enhancement I'd like to ask the makers of the drug Cialis (for men with erectile dysfunction... because most women don't have erectiles, and if we did they wouldn't dysfunction unless we goddamn wanted them too and that would only be like once a month when it's dangerous to be around any body part of ours let alone if we had an erectile and Where the hell is the chocolate?!) 




I don't need another pill..umm, the water is cold.

Ahem... anyway, Cialis has a few commercials about "everyday moments turning romantic" where the woman is doing some chore, like cooking dinner, mountains of laundry or painting a wall when the drugged-penis man comes up and gives her the 'heeeeyyyyyy baby' smile and poof, they end up in separate bathtubs somewhere in the great outdoors with a killer view and, apparently, no laws governing public nudity.  Is there a particular reason there are two bathtubs when the entire point of taking the drug is to have nothing in the way of experiencing the 'romance'? Looking at the picture I'd say there was quite a bit in the way if they really wanted to... ya know... test-drive the super dragon.

Oh and guess what, those chores aren't going to finish themselves and I'm pretty sure that dinner is burned! 

See, look at me, always thinking... I know, right? You are stunned at my train wreck of thoughts.  I may not look that bright but sometimes I amaze even myself with such brilliant observations.





What?  Nooooo, I haven't been drinking my hair dye again... that was One time and I told you, I was out of chocolate and that hot glue itched like a son of a bitch. 



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And now for no reason what so ever... I leave you with a final thought of the day and, perhaps, you too may experience this kind of personal enhancement of the spirit.  Try it, I know you want to.