Enough already!

One of my New Year's resolutions, (oh hell, it was my Only resolution), was to be more proactive on my blog; keep the updates current and not have, oh say, two or three months go by without blogging anything.

Yeah... and 2 1/2 months later here I am. Finally.  Way to be current eh?  It's not that I don't have lots of things to snark about or observances that you desperately Need to Know, but I've discovered that I put too much pressure on myself to always have the perfect blog in every post.  Always have to have the best to write down and share... only thing is, I think too much, try too hard and then I just ... Don't.  I mean I bring "I'll do it later" like nobodies business.  I write things I'd like to blog about down on a note pad, (and they are damn good too! she said modestly),  but when it comes time to pull up a new page and git'r done... I Don't.  What if it's stupid, what if I'm not funny enough or interesting enough... what if It's not enough.  Do you ever feel that way?

 I love, love, LOVE snarky-potty-mouth-OMG-you-did-Not-just-say-that humor and life just feeds it to me with a constant stream of  "oh yeah, I'm going to say that shit out loud for reals!"  But it shouldn't have to be (in my eclectic mind) in big, epic proportions that I 'perfectly produce' each blog... so with that being said, I'm going to continue to share what makes me laugh, cringe and go No fucking Way! but in a, probably, less refined fashion.  Besides, this blog is more for me than you; well, kinda.  If it's not enough for you, I understand completely... it's like those people who move next to an airport and have the nerve to complain about the noise; uhhh yeah dip shit, if you don't like the noise don't move there 'cause it's going to happen!  If you don't like what I read, don't read it!  It's OK, really! 

I'd like to think I'm going to give myself a break in real life like I am in my blog.  Maybe you should too... give yourself permission to Not be perfect or epic or enough, because sometimes we just can't be; sometimes we just Don't. 



OK, so enough of that!  Here's a few things I have on my list and there's enough Really?! to go around.

So, what's up with Adults needing to revert to child-like behaviour and causing a whole new product line to be created just because they can't swallow a vitamin with a drink of wine water. I get that some people can't take pills that way and that's why there's a need for chewable vitamins, but did it have to go to the Gummy level? Apparently, according to the commercials promoting this new phase of adult health care, if you use these gummy vitamins you will indeed revert back to childish behaviour and throw food at each other while laughing in a giddy 'OMG I feel soooo much better since my Multi tastes like vitamin-esk gelatinous candy children usually eat' kind of way. And who do you think is going to clean up that food fight mess?  Yep, it's the adults who created it and I bet they regret throwing all those strained peas and tippy cup milk around because that shit sticks to everything!

And speaking of childish and messy shit, have you seen the commercial for Luvs diapers? The premise for this charming gem is a contest of cartoon babies who are competing to see who can produce the biggest, most explosive and impressive poop without blowing out their diapers... all to the music of "Whoomp there it is" where they instead say, (I bet you know what I'm going to say...) "Poop there it is!" There's a crowd of cheering fans and even a few judges that hold up numbers rating their thoughts on the gastric efforts of each contestants, ahhh, qualifying attempts. Spoiler alert: the last baby has the biggest poop and wins; a shocking and unexpected ending, I know.

Now I'm assuming that there was some form of Adult interaction in the initial marketing idea and story board; I mean someone had to think this crap up *snicker* and have the nerve to initiate a dialog with other Power Thinkers to receive validation that this is a most excellent idea!  I'm also assuming that a few of his fellow colleagues responded to his whoomp/poop-parody-ridden idea with "Party on Dude!" and "Is it 4:20 yet?" There's no way you can come up with crazy stuff like that and not be high. No. Fucking. Way.

That I'm so compelled to not only remember these examples of absurd commercialism but feel the imperative need to share them proves one glaring fact... I watch too damn much TV! 


Or Not, because when it comes to potential gutter-mutter blog material and Television, I can never get....  Enough.